You have something to say! And you want a cool blog to say it on! This isn’t going to be a typical ‘how to install WordPress’ site, there is already a million tutorials out there on how to do that. No, this site is going to be about ‘how to make WordPress awesome and your parents finally proud of you’. Well I can’t guarantee that last part, but having a bad ass website couldn’t hurt. Not running a blog but still need a sweet website? No problem! I probably don’t have to tell you that WordPress is one of the most powerful and versatile content management systems out there, it can handle whatever you throw at it. Maybe you already have a WordPress site blog, but it’s kind of lame. I’ll show you how to make it more beautiful than a flock of Bald Eagles flying in a formation that looks like a waving flag.
You know anything about Japanese culture? Just sushi and the tentacle stuff? Well, they have people called ‘senpai‘, which basically translates to ‘somebody who already made a million dumb mistakes and figured things out the painful way who is going to teach me so I don’t waste a million hours of my life too’. Think of me as your WordPress-senpai, I already spent days, weeks, months even banging my head against my desk and getting irrationally angry at my cat who had a super judge-y look on his face when I couldn’t figure something out. But I came out the other side of that crucible a wiser woman, and me and my cat are speaking again. Well, I tell him about my day and he mostly meows for salmon treats. Do not despair my children, WordPress-senpai is here to help you.
Why am I qualified to teach you about this stuff? Well aside from the above-mentioned 666,000 hour practicum in pain, I also went to school for this stuff at the number one ranked tech school in the Pacific Northwest according to Maclean’s*, and now I even get paid to do it. But senpai! If you get paid to do this, why would you tell me about it for free? Because my little angel mice, my clients at work are largely businesses that have $5000+ to spend on a website. Do you have an extra $5000 burning a hole in your pocket? Hell no, you probably have to deal with some of the worst of humanity day in and day out for a criminally low amount of money and live in somebody’s basement. I get it, that was me 10 years ago. I didn’t have a senpai to help me out, but I sure wish I had. So let’s do this friends, let’s kick WordPress up to 11 for you. If the world ends tomorrow, wouldn’t it be better to go out knowing “At least I had an awesome website.”
*might not actually be true.